i call it thinkings

I was thinking about God. I was thinking about how I can't hear him and how I have no concept of what he looks like. And I was thinking about how I can understand God when he seems so far beyond me. Who the hell is he and what's happening in my life? So sometimes to answer all the questions that I have more questions than answers for because I have a lot of questions, (get it?) I read. My Bible describes God as beyond me coincidentally, but intervening, in every sense of the word, in the lives of men. My Bible is undeniably a book of fantastical (extraordinary) stories and relevant, credible historical events and peoples. Its praised and demeaned as some of the greatest literature ever written among ordinary men who may or may not have accomplished some noteworthy things in their life times. Historians dont deny its transcription either. Yes, there are versions of it and books not canonized, but its message and content is more or less the same all the way through. It's about God who made the world we live in and his love for the people he made. Its about the perfection of love because we creations can choose to love, and disobeyed because we don't fully get it. And this is a hang up for a lot of us because we don't understand "what's the significance" if we didn't want a perfect love? "How is it perfect?" But I think therein is the story, love is this. It's heart wrenching because we cant comprehend its depth and hurt. It's redemptive because love is forgiving. So 'God is love' in his infinite wisdom illustrated this and gave us his Son. Love is a choice too. We accept it and reject it all the time. So the significance of Jesus is seemly everything. God wants us to comprehend his love for us, so he gives us a way back to him. He shows us how to love because we don't understand. We accept his love and his example or we can choose not to accept it.

In everyday life I often think about myself and where I'm trying to go and I forget about the whole world. What if there was a way to describe all the meaning and humor and personality of people or the 'Bible story' in one blog or a paragraph? I think about that all the time. Why is it so hard to illustrate magnitude? But that's all I can do, that's all anyone who wants to describe what he sees can do. It's an attempt. I'll give you a glimpse of what I feel and think and who I perceive you to be and what I think about God, and you will do your best to understand and that's how we live. Btw, I want to be an ideal person. What's an 'ideal person', you say? I don't know. I'm formulating a prototype. Can people become geniuses, or is it inborn? I want to be a genius.... There will always be people who disagree for good reasons and lame, selfish reasons about everything. And if I knew how to tie everything together and show the interconnectedness of nuances and bottomline beliefs and behavior, I'd be the greatest writer to ever try to communicate. I should not presume.