Dear God

"Can I please be smart?"
"Why do you ask?"
"...because I want to be good at something."
"You think if you are smart, you will be good at something?"
"Maybe."
"Do you want all of whatever that is to come now?"
"Kinda."
"I made you smart enough. Why don't you enjoy it now?"
"I'm sorry. I'm impatient and I think I have difficulties."
"Tell me about the difficulties. I'm aware of them. Explore what interests you now. I direct men's steps. You were born into waiting for me. Do you see it? I am writing you. You aren't complete. Enjoy knowing that you won't be until I'm done, and I know exactly what you're good at. You're rather exceptional at it. Many many people, people I know all about, don't know to wait. These people go and go, hoping for the next thing. Others don't even know what's missing. Everything is there for the taking. Their lives begin and end so fast. Wait. Enjoy me."

adventing

There is such a thing as timed chess. i'm not very good at it. i think it is because i think slowly and deeply...similar to the ocean. please pretend that analogy makes perfect sense. i don't know why i can't be a clever poet or chairman of the Federal Reserve. I've written poems. but...not recently. I'm very good at self-editing. "but...not recently" is not even remotely a complete sentence or thought. It's a banal fragment and has nothing to do with the Federal Reserve. Regardless, I will write to think, and it is probable no one will read it because i see few do, but that is not the point. The point is that I might not ever be a great debater, though I am so enthralled with them. BECAUSE i get it. I think I bobble a bit when lots of eyes are on me...therefore I write, and what is written...can be read...afteritiswritten. The point is that I follow. I do get economics. I sense poetry, often and poorly. I know what words do.... Why? It's one thing to be smart. It's another thing to know how to apply it. That's a new maxim of mine. I'm somewhere in between. Between smart enough to follow and benefiting the world.

Yes, that is a shifting paradigm.

I don't know when arrival is? I don't think it looks the way i thought. It may have nothing to do with notoriety or money. That's something i discerned. The smartest ones are the ones helping the most because. Their motives are the smartest. I think i'm defining words differently then is normal, for example "smartness". Maybe I'm spelling "wisdom" or "godliness". I have this inkling that's where I'm going. I know everyone will benefit. hmmmmmmmmm. I need a lot of help along the way.